


Second Loves Rarely Get Enough Credit

by killaidanturner



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Exhibitionism, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt, Love, M/M, Pining, Smut, fragment writing, these two men are dumb and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:51:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killaidanturner/pseuds/killaidanturner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thought that it was a love story. He realizes that maybe it's a ghost story.</p><p>"I thought that it was a story about war."</p><p>"That too."</p><p>"Do they fall back in love?"</p><p>"They never fell out of it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Loves Rarely Get Enough Credit

**Author's Note:**

> this is my third attempt at posting this, ao3 doesn't want me to fulfill the prophecy. For Raven and Lucy, the holy trinity.

**December 2014**

 

“We can’t do this anymore.”

 

“Aid, what are you saying?”

 

“I can’t be with you.”

 

“Can’t sounds like don’t.”

 

“Then it’s don’t.”

 

“You’re just saying that.”

 

“I’m saying it if it makes this easier for you.”

 

“Hurting me even more makes it easier for who Aidan?”

 

Aidan’s eyes were dry as Dean’s were falling apart.

 

* * *

 

Dean spends his time in an in between state. Not really living, not completely gone either.

 

* * *

 

“I guess I always knew he wouldn’t love me forever, I just fucking expected it to be longer than that.”

 

* * *

 

He wishes he could take back the way that he held Aidan at night, like he would break. Like he was _important._

 

* * *

 

He tries to forget moments.

 

 **Moment I.** The black jacket that clung to Aidan’s frame when they met. The way Dean felt like he already knew him. How Dean had never seen a smile that could light up a room.

 

 **Moment II.** The almost kiss outside of a pub, with heavy breaths that smelled of hops. How Dean turned away and ran a hand through his hair trying to tell himself that he didn’t want it.

 

 **Moment III.** The way Aidan’s bottom lip trembled the first time they kissed.

**Moment IV.**

_“I dream.”_

_“Tell me what you dream.”_

_“I dream about you. I dream about the way that I want to let you have everything.”_

**Moment V.** I love you, whispered in the dark between shoulder blades and moonlight streaming in.

 

* * *

 

**July 2015**

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I miss you.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I know, I know you told me to never speak to you again after what happened but it’s been months Deano and I can’t stop thinking about you.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** Do you ever think of me?

 **Do Not Call or Text:** Fuck, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** It’s ok if you don’t.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I just want you to know that I still think of you.

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** There’s so much I want to tell you.

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** Do you remember once, when we were sitting standing outside a pub because I needed a smoke. I said the night sky looked lonely and you asked me if the sun ever gets lonely. I didn’t reply. Well I think that it does.

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** Do you remember when you waited for me at the airport in Zurich? We were so nervous that someone was going to see us. We tried to act, I don’t know, fucking casual I suppose but I never really knew how to act around you.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I guess I still don’t.

 

 **Do Not Call or Text** : That night was the biggest mistake of my life.

 

* * *

 

**August 2015**

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** You probably changed your number and I’m just texting someone who will never know our story.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** They probably see my text messages and think I’m desperate but that’s alright. I’ll be desperate. I’ll be anything.

 

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I wonder if they can tell how much I miss you, if it’s conveyed through these messages properly.

 

 **reply:** I didn’t change my number.

 **Do Not Call or Text:** I probably look like an idiot right now with the grin I have on my face.

 **reply:** You always look like an idiot

 

* * *

 

Aidan laughs harder than he has in a very long time. He laughs until tears spring from his eyes and his sides hurt.

 

* * *

 

Dean tries not to spend every moment looking at his phone or waiting for a text to come through.

 

When they do he tries to hold back biting remarks. He tries to work on letting go.

 

* * *

 

**September 2015**

 

 **Aidan Turner:** I want to see you.

 **reply:** I don’t think, fuck, I don’t know. Maybe.

 **Aidan Turner:** I’ll take a maybe.

 

* * *

 

**_Aidan Turner Calling_ **

 

Exhale.

 

“Hello.”

 

“I’m sorry.” It tumbles from Aidan’s lips.

 

Dean pauses. He doesn’t know if Aidan is apologizing for calling or for what happened. Maybe both.  “What time is it there?”

 

“Around three in the morning.”

 

“Why are you awake?”

 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about the maybe.”

 

Dean closes his eyes but doesn’t respond. He lets the silence exist between them.

 

“It’s nice to hear your voice.” Aidan is so quiet when he says it that Dean barely hears it.

 

“Yeah well, you could have fucking called sooner.” It’s out of Dean’s mouth before he realizes it.

 

“You told me not to call, what was I supposed to do?”

 

“Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

 

“Obviously you did. It came from somewhere. Nevermind. I don’t want to argue.”

 

Silence.

 

“I should go to sleep.”

 

“Goodnight Aid.”

 

“‘Night Deano.”

 

* * *

 

Aidan doesn’t sleep the rest of the night, just remembers how Dean sounded when he used his nickname.

 

He wonders if it came naturally to him, if it was like old times.

 

* * *

 

Dean tries not to analyze what this means. How he said Aidan’s name. But he can’t seem to forget the smile in Aidan’s voice when he said Deano.

 

* * *

 

**October 2015  
**

**Aid:** Apparently it’s frowned upon to have phones in one’s trousers in the 1700s.

 **reply:** Stop putting your mobile in them then.

 **Aid:** I can’t, what if you text me?

 **reply:** Then you’ll see it when you see it.

 **Aid:** What if it’s important?

 **reply:** I know what times you’re filming. If I have something important to say then I’ll wait til then.

 

 **Aid:** Do you have something important to say.

 **reply:** Maybe.

 **Aid:** I like maybes.

 

 **reply:** Ok, I have something to say.

 **Aid:** Should I be nervous?

 **reply:** Yes? No? I have no idea honestly.

 **reply:** I want to see you.

 **Aid:** When?

 **reply:** I have a show in Frankfurt in a few days. I’ll be there for a bit but I don’t have anything lined up after.

 **Aid:** I can’t really leave Cornwall.

 **reply:** I figured as much.

 **Aid:** I really want to see you though. Maybe if I leave set at night then get there and I’ll just have to leave like first thing in the morning.

 **reply:** I don’t want to see you for just a few hours.

 **Aid:** I don’t want to ask you to come to Cornwall but I’m going to anyways. Come to Cornwall, spend a few nights here. Any time that I am not shooting I will spend with you if you’ll have me.

 **reply:** Ok.

 

* * *

 

Dean doesn’t want to hope.

 

* * *

 

Aidan has enough for the both of them.

 

* * *

 

Dean spends the time at his gallery anxious.

 

“When was the picture of Sarah and Aidan taken?”

 

He gets asked this during a panel at the gallery.

 

“During a break up.”

 

He doesn’t say whose.

 

* * *

 

He flies into Cardiff and takes a train down to Cornwall. He tells Aidan not to worry about meeting him at the airport. He doesn’t tell him he picked a flight during filming hours on purpose.

 

* * *

 

Dean checks into the hotel that Aidan booked for him.

 

Then he waits.

 

Waiting had become so natural for Dean, he never realized he was always just waiting for Aidan to show back up.

 

* * *

 

There’s a knock on the hotel door.

 

Dean straightens his shirt and clears his throat before answering.

 

Aidan looks up from the ground, his mouth slightly parted. His hair is pushed back out of his face except for one curl that seems to have gotten loose that is resting against his forehead. He doesn’t say anything, just lets out a half laugh and smiles.

 

Dean doesn’t realize he’s smiling as well.

 

Aidan moves quickly, his arms wrapped around Dean’s neck. He has their bodies pressed tightly together.

 

Dean loses his footing for a moment but catches it when he wraps his arms around Aidan in return.

 

He smells just as Dean remembers, honey sunshine, bergamot, smoke, and mint. Dean closes his eyes and turns so that he can breathe Aidan in better with his nose buried in his hair.

 

Dean tries to pull away after a moment.

 

“Please, please, can we just stay like this for a while?” Aidan’s voice is breaking.

 

Dean nods his head yes.

 

* * *

 

They don’t kiss. Aidan wants it too much and Dean is hesitant. Instead they spend the night in their clothes laying on top of the sheets. Aidan holds Dean’s hand, traces the lines on it.

 

Dean doesn’t know how much time goes by before he finally says something. “Why did you say those things that night? I felt like you had stopped loving me.”

 

“I never stopped loving you. I just didn’t know where my love should go.” Aidan looks up at Dean and there’s such sincerity in his eyes that Dean has to look away.

 

* * *

 

“It was too real. That’s why. I had never loved anything the way that I loved you.”

 

“Now?”

 

“I love you more than I did then. It’s so fucking real it’s all I can think about. You?”

 

“It’s always been real for me.”

 

* * *

 

Aidan leaves early in the morning before Dean fully wakes.

 

Dean feels the linger of a kiss on his cheek.

 

* * *

 

 **Aid:** I miss you.

 **reply:** You just saw me this morning, and you’ll see me again in a few hours.

 **Aid:** I still miss you.

 **reply:** I miss you too.

 

* * *

 

This time when Aidan knocks on the door Dean doesn’t hesitate. He pulls him in by the collar of his shirt and puts their lips together.

 

It’s exactly how Dean remembers it. Aidan’s hands roaming find their way under his shirt to feel skin. Aidan kicks the door shut with his foot and backs Dean against the wall.

 

Dean’s heart is beating so fast that it feels like thunder breaking in his chest.

 

Aidan is making quick work of their clothing, their jackets already on the floor.

 

“Let’s go out to dinner.” Dean is panting as he breaks away.

 

“Why?”

 

“So I don’t try to fuck you right now.”

 

“You..”

 

“Grab your coat. I told myself that I would have some semblance of restraint.”

 

“I don’t mind if you don’t.”

 

“You never did.”

 

* * *

 

They spend dinner with their thighs pressed together, whispering over the noise of the restaurant and barely touching their food.

 

Their touches are light, familiar but new all at once.

 

Dean wishes he hadn’t suggested dinner. He wants nothing more than to feel himself inside Aidan.

 

“I want you.” Dean whispers into Aidan’s ear before taking the lobe into his mouth and grazing his teeth across it.

 

* * *

 

They’re almost at the hotel when Dean pushes Aidan into a side alley.

 

“What are you…” Aidan doesn’t have time to finish what he is saying before Dean has him against the wall.

 

Dean presses their lips together. Aidan is already moaning into his mouth, thinking that he would never have this again.

 

“Dean.” Aidan gasps out as Dean palms the front of his jeans.

 

Dean kisses Aidan’s jaw, nips at the skin there. He moves down his neck, rips open the top button of Aidan’s shirt. He sucks a mark on Aidan’s collarbone as his hands are working open the button on Aidan’s jeans.

 

Aidan takes in a sharp breath when his cock is exposed to the cold night air. Dean’s hands are warm as they wrap around him and slowly start stroking.

 

“Dean, Dean, we can’t.” Aidan is whispering but his hands are clutched onto Dean’s clothes like he’s his lifeline.  He’s making no attempts to stop him.

 

“Shhh.” Dean says against Aidan’s neck as he moves to a fresh spot to make another mark.

 

“What if someone sees?” Aidan hisses out between his teeth.

 

“Let them.” Dean runs a finger over the slit on Aidan’s cock and he moans loudly. He can feel Dean’s grin against his neck.

 

Dean remembers everything that Aidan likes, the pressure, how to move his wrists. Dean grinds against Aidan so he can feel his length through his pants. He grinds again with his hand between them working Aidan faster. Aidan is biting his bottom lip to keep from moaning as his eyes keep flicking to the entrance of the alley.

 

“I won't let you come until you scream my name.” Dean’s voice is low and gravely as he whispers it in Aidan’s ear.

 

Aidan moans loudly as Dean pumps his fist a few more times.He chants Dean’s name like it’s a prayer and he is trying to repent. It starts as a whisper and hits a crescendo until Aidan is screaming Dean’s name and he can feel Dean’s grin against his neck.  Aidan is coming all over his shirt and his and Dean’s pants.

 

Dean bites down on the tender flesh on Aidan’s collarbone just as he is finishing causing him to moan even louder.

 

Dean places a finger up to Aidan’s mouth who takes the digit and licks his come off of Dean’s finger. Dean makes a throaty noise as Aidan’s tongue swipes away at the liquid. “Fuck Aid.”

 

“Hey, what’s going on down there?” A voice shouts to them and Dean quickly pulls his finger out of Aidan’s mouth and buttons his pants quickly.

 

“Shite shite shite.” Aidan is cursing and shooting glances at Dean.

 

“Sorry officer we…”

 

“We got a little lost trying to get back to the hotel by taking side streets. It’s just such a nice evening for a walk. But it seems that we found it.” Aidan had cut Dean off before he had a chance to try to craft a lie.

 

The officer looks between them and the mess on their clothes. Dean looks up at the sky for a moment and hopes that Aidan can get them out of this.

 

“Uh-huh.” The flashlight the officer is holding is shining on them and the evidence of what happened.

 

“Did you know there’s a great little cafe a few roads down? White chocolate mocha, they have it there, absolutely fantastic drink if you ask me…” Aidan is throwing his charm around.

 

“Right, listen, just move on and I’ll let you both off with a warning.”

 

They thank the officer and run out of the alley laughing.

 

* * *

 

Aidan throws a pillow at Dean once they’re inside the room. “You’re sleeping on the floor.”

 

“Why?! This is my room.” Dean is smirking.

 

“You know why.”

 

It’s a whole production. The lights are off and Aidan is settled in the bed but all he can hear are over dramatic sighs from Dean. How he keeps tossing and turning and flipping the pillow around.

 

“Jesus Deano, if I let you up here will you fucking stop?” Aidan leans over the edge of the bed and looks down at Dean.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Get in bed.”

 

Dean gets under the blankets and Aidan is immediately pulling Dean to his chest and resting his chin on the top of his head. “Arsehole.”

 

Aidan feels Dean’s hardness pressing against him. Aidan groans in frustration and rolls onto his back.

 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asks sitting up.

“I can feel you. How am I supposed to go to sleep with that thing pressed against me?” Aidan is trying so hard to be restrained, not knowing what Dean is ok with at this point.

 

“First off, please don’t refer to my cock as a thing. Second, we could do something about it.”

 

They look at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what to do.

 

A part of Dean wants to tell Aidan that he hasn’t been with anyone since him. That he thought about trying to fuck half of New Zealand just to try to forget but that he could never bring himself to do it.

 

Aidan wants to tell Dean that it’s always been him, just him and no one else. That he’s the first man he’s ever loved, the second person he’s ever loved.

 

Aidan leans up and places his lips softly against Dean’s. He cards a hand softly through Dean’s hair and relishes in the feel of the curls between his fingers.

 

Dean positions them so he’s on top of Aidan.

 

“I want to feel you inside me.” Aidan whispers as his hand wraps around Dean’s length. Dean bites back a moan as he moves his hips and thrusts into Aidan’s hand.

 

“I have lube and condoms in my bag.”

 

“I…” Aidan doesn’t know how to say it. “I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

 

Dean lets out a small laugh and looks away to try to hide his smile.

 

“What? Don’t laugh!”

 

“I’m only laughing because I haven’t been with anyone either.”

 

It switches something in Aidan and he’s flipping them over before Dean realizes what is going on. Aidan is on top of him and kissing him enough to make his lips swell.

 

Aidan bites Dean’s bottom lip then works his way to his neck where he licks, bites, and sucks until the skin is turning shades of red.

 

 _“Mine.”_ He growls the word as he grinds his hips.

 

“I’ve always been yours.” Dean says it breathily and knows that he means it.

 

* * *

 

Dean works Aidan open and pushes him to the edge, keeps pushing him then not letting him release. He does this until Aidan is sweating and begging Dean to be inside of him.

 

Dean fucks him slowly and with long thrusts. It’s not enough, but they both don’t want it to end.

 

Aidan comes screaming Dean’s name and Dean isn’t far behind him. He released into Aidan and stays inside of him until he’s soft.

 

They don’t clean up, they fall asleep covered in each other.

 

* * *

 

Aidan is on edge all day on set. He just wants to get back to Dean.

 

His make up artist scolds him for the marks on his neck but at the same time she can’t hide her smile at seeing Aidan so happy.

 

“Tell her to be more careful next time.”

 

“Him.” Aidan corrects her.

 

“Oh, tell _him_ to be more careful next time. Acting like you’re a teenager coming in here with hickeys all over your neck.”

 

Aidan beams up at her. He never thought it would feel so good to _admit._

 

Once wrapping for the day is done he quickly changes out of his clothes and heads back to the hotel. Dean gave him a spare room key.

 

Aidan rushes into the room and doesn’t see any sign of Dean. Or any of Dean’s things. Or any evidence he had been there at all.

 

For a moment panic rises in his throat.

 

He walks to the other side of the room and looks out on the balcony to see Dean leaning over the railing looking down at the town.

 

Aidan lets out the breath that he was holding in.

 

“I saw you running up to the hotel.” Dean turns to look at Aidan.” “Hey, what’s wrong?” Dean is reaching out to Aidan who has tears in his eyes.

 

“I...I came into the room and I didn’t see your suitcase.”

 

“I tripped over it earlier and moved it onto the closet.” Dean says simply and with a smile on his face.

 

“I thought that you were gone. That you left me and you didn’t want this.” It’s ridiculous and Aidan doesn’t remember the last time he cried.

 

Aidan looks into Dean’s eyes and thinks that they don’t look the same, the same way that the ocean doesn’t look the same after a storm.

 

“This is ridiculous.”

 

There’s a fear building in Aidan’s chest, for a sick moment he thinks that Dean only agreed to this to throw Aidan’s own words back in his face.

 

“When shooting is done come with me. Come to New Zealand. Come home.” Dean is reaching out to Aidan and running his hands up and down Aidan’s arms.

 

Aidan lets out a choked “Yes.” Before he is throwing himself into Dean’s arms.  
  


* * *

 

Aidan likes the way that Dean never sleeps on his own pillow. That when Dean wraps his arms around him at night he makes sure that they are close enough for Dean to sleep on his pillow.

 

* * *

 

“What if it’s not the same as before?”

 

“I’m not expecting it to be.”

 

* * *

 

Aidan is haphazardly packing up his things and taping up boxes without labeling them.

 

“Christ Aid.” Dean laughs at Aidan’s packing job.

 

“I’m just excited to go home.”

 

Dean can’t help but smile how Aidan already calls it home.

 

* * *

 

Dean wants to unpack Aidan’s things quickly. A small part of him thinking that maybe if Aidan sees his things laying around the house that he will never want to leave.

 

He doesn’t tell Aidan this fear.

 

* * *

 

“We don’t have to unpack everything right now.” Aidan says as he lays down on the bed.

 

“You at least need your clothes.”

 

“I can wear yours.”

 

Dean laughs at this. “You stretched out my gray shirt you borrowed and it’s never fit me the same so no.”

 

“If you don’t like it then why do you keep wearing it? I saw the pictures of your gallery showing.” Aidan has his eyebrows raised and Dean throws the tape from the box at him.

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

 

* * *

 

“We should get a puppy.” Dean says one afternoon as they are unpacking Aidan’s things.

 

“Good, Batman needs someone to keep him company.”

 

Batman lets out a bark as he sits by Aidan’s feet.

 

* * *

 

They get a black haired Irish wolfhound puppy.

 

“He hates me.” Dean exclaims.

 

“He doesn’t hate you.”

 

“He likes you more.” Dean is pouting.

 

“That’s not true.” Aidan is playing with the puppy on the floor.

 

“He won’t even come to me if I call for him. He’s a betrayer. You were my idea!” Shouts to the puppy as he carried a bag of dog food into the kitchen.

 

“Betrayer. We should call him Brutus then.”

 

“I thought we were going to name him Robin?” Dean calls from the kitchen.

 

“Oh that’s awful. No. I never agreed to that.”

 

“Nightwing?” Dean walks back out into the living room to see Batman watching Aidan and the new puppy.

 

“I like Brutus.”

 

“You only like it because he likes you more.”

 

Aidan smiles up at Dean.

 

* * *

 

Brutus falls asleep on top of Batman who doesn’t seem to mind his new companion.

 

* * *

 

The ache in Dean’s chest is gone. It’s replaced with something else, something completely Aidan. He spends his nights tracing patterns on Aidan’s skin and breathing him in.

 

* * *

 

Aidan feels like he’s coloured in, that he’s filled with colours he’s never seen before. That his body is painted with cities that him and Dean have been in. He supposes that maybe that’s how it feels falling in love with an artist. Or maybe that’s just how it feels being in love with Dean.

 

* * *

 

They’re not each other's first love, but they're each other's last. They talk about the past, talk about what has shaped them. They welcome what has brought them to this point in their lives.

 

“No one really ever talks about their second love.” Aidan complains one day. He’s ready to tell the world about Dean, ready for them to know about his second love.

 

“Second loves rarely get enough credit.” Dean smiles before leaning up to kiss Aidan.

 

“You’re a genius.” Aidan say as he kisses Dean back harder.

 

“Well I’ve always known that but what exactly did I do?”

 

“I figured out how to tell everyone about our engagement!” Aidan is calling back over his shoulder as he runs off to their bedroom. He comes back a moment later with his laptop in his hand.

 

“And how exactly are we going to do that?” Dean hovers over Aidan’s shoulders as he sits down at the worktop. He wraps his arms around Aidan’s neck as he watches the screen light up.

 

“We’re going to make an announcement in the paper. Simple. Classy. Elegant.” Aidan moves his free hand in front of his face as if he’s imagining the words appearing in front of him.

 

“I just proposed last night, are you ready for something like that? The media will be after us.”

 

“Fuck I wanted to ring everyone last night but I was rather preoccupied with your cock in my mouth.” Aidan is typing furiously as he sends his publicist an email asking for the announcement to be made through the papers and for her to type up a conformation.

 

Aidan pushes Dean onto the couch after he sends the email and fucks him hard and fast.

 

Dean complains the rest of the day and makes Aidan watch horrible movies on netflix as punishment for “fucking my ass so hard I can barely walk” he had told Aidan.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Aidan runs out to the front of the house to grab the paper flipping to the engagements section.

 

There’s a whole article.

  
**_Second Loves Rarely Get Enough Credit._ **

**Author's Note:**

> why is what I said in the summary not in the story??? cause I hate summaries. find me on tumblr at killaidanturner.


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